“Let Me Say No More”

​As I inhale this air before the summer,
Memories of last spring moonwalk into my head.
The blank pages shout out,
Yet not a word do they bleed.
The sameness of the ceiling fan,
Traversing insanely around, with zero velocity.
The pups below fool around,
With kitties crossing the road.
I saw a man cursing the animal.
Was I stupid,
To keep noticing?
Or, was that man,
Who condemned the creature?
The urchins down the sixth lane
Are basically homeless orphans;
Motherless, fatherless, and helpless.
Yet the smiles stretch from ear to ear.
And me?
I am happy.
Or at least, seem to be so.
I have a family,
To whom I do not exist.
No, they do care,
And I too do, for them,
But there is this crisis.
Call it existential 
I get my food,
I get money.
I get what the fuck ever I need,
And sometimes what I want.
And I ain’t helpless.
Yet there is this feeling,
Always shrouding me,
Like it’s winter and it’s cold.
A sense of isolation.
A sense of darkness
Which proliferates.
A sense of being old.
I am just eighteen.
Or take it to be seventeen plus 
Yet the frown seems to be my truth,
And the smile uncanny, add-on.
I don’t know what this is.
I don’t know why this is.
I don’t know if this really is,
Or is it just my head playing with me.
But let me be the silent sufferer,
Let it be how it is.
And let me say no more.

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